


Kismet snippets

by QueenKordeilia



Series: The Kismet Universe [2]
Category: Waaris (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2021-02-07 10:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenKordeilia/pseuds/QueenKordeilia
Summary: Companion piece to Kismet, told from Manu's POV. Starts seven years before the events of Kismet.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), RajPreet
Series: The Kismet Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1547830





	1. Dreaming

Manu lay on her bed, swinging her dainty legs behind her as silly daydreams entered her mind and filled her heart with futile hope. She rested her head on her arms as her lips curved up into a smile, humming to herself as she envisioned herself as a bride.

'Why are you blushing, Manu?' she asked herself. 'You're a guy, not a girl.'

The henna on her arm told a different story though. Lifting her head off her arms, she pulled the left sleeve of her kurta up and gazed at the pretty henna pattern which currently graced the lower part of left arm. Rolling onto her back, she felt her heart flutter as she traced the R of the 'Raj' in the centre of the pattern.

Raj. Her friend. Her best friend who knew her so well that he had applied henna to her without having to be asked.

'Oh God,' she thought to herself. 'Only soon to be married women have their future husband's names included in their henna designs. How could I let Raj put his name on my arm?'

It was no secret that Raj loved her, a fact that sent her spinning off into despair whenever it crossed her mind but she always felt embarrassed whenever she was reminded of it. Even though Raj had said he was including his name in the henna design because he was her friend, it made her feel uneasy. Yes, both she and Gunjan Didi were wearing the name of the most important man in their life, respectively, but it sort of implied that Raj was to her what Aman Jiju was to Gunjan Didi. The colour of her henna had also turned out just as dark as her sister's, if not darker. A sure sign that her future husband would love her very much.

'Future husband? Stop it, Manu. You can never have a husband. It's not possible.'

The Shah of the Pawaniyas sighed, pulling her sleeve down and grabbing her pagdi cloth before going towards her dressing table. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she proceeded to put her pagdi on, watching on unblinking as she transformed into Manu. This was her real identity. This was her kismet.

It was better to regard daydreams as what they really were: fantasies that would never come true.

* * *

As Gunjan Didi stepped onto the mandap with Aman Jiju, her whole family and the guests watched on. Manu enviously eyed the bride who looked absolutely stunning in her red bridal lehenga, desperately wanting to try the outfit on for herself.

"Dreaming again?" a voice to the left asked.

"No," she answered quickly, crossing her arms. She didn't have to turn to see who was talking to her. Firstly, she would recognise that lovel—annoying voice anywhere and secondly, no one else would dare to talk to her like he did. "I don't dream."

"Sure, just like you didn't dream about getting your henna done."

Manu jumped, quickly glancing at the people standing near them before glaring at Raj who didn't look bothered at all. Huh. That was typical.

"Are you serious?" she muttered in a low voice. "What if someone heard us?"

Fortunately, he said no more, opting to give her a small albeit nerve grating smile instead before turning his attention to the mandap. Relieved that he was now silent, she also looked to the bride and groom.

Mummy stood back, gesturing for Chacha and Chachi to do the kanyadaan. Manu frowned, wishing that Papa was still alive so that he could do Gunjan Didi's—and even her own—kanyadaan with Mummy. Had Papa been alive when she was born, Beeji would've never threatened to kill her and she would've been able to live as a girl. But then again, if he'd been alive, maybe she wouldn't have had the opportunity to befriend Raj. It was a double edged sword really.

"Bride's brother, please step forward," the priest requested. Oh yes, that was right. That was her, the bride's brother. A man.

Manu stepped forward and did as the priest instructed, passing the sindoor and mangalsutra to Aman Jiju who put them on Gunjan Didi. She then stepped back, returning to her place next to her friend.

"Don't worry, Preet," Raj whispered into her ear, startling her a bit with his sudden decision to start speaking again. "I'll put sindoor and mangalsutra on you just like I did with the henna." Manu tried not to give in to the urge to strangle him then and there as he hurriedly added, "as a friend."

Friend. Raj didn't seem to know what the boundaries of friendship were. Writing one's name on his friend's arm with henna was questionable but applying sindoor to her parting and tieing a mangalsutra around her neck completely crossed the line between friendship and... something else. Something that Manu did not want to think about, especially when she was already entertaining herself with pointless dreams of her own wedding.

As soon as Gunjan Didi's bidaai was over and done with, Manu stayed as far away from Raj as possible. Already emotionally exhausted by her sister leaving the house, the last thing she needed was for her heart to become conflicted by Raj's relentless flirting...


	2. Confusion and Denial

After Manu and Raj brought Gunjan Didi back to the Pawaniya residence for her Pag Phere, the former shot the latter a wary look before running up to her room. She almost tripped on the stairs in her haste, feeling her face heat up in shame when she felt his eyes on her.

Everywhere she looked these days, Raj was always there, breathing down her neck—not in a literal sense of course. She shivered at the thought of him standing that closely behind her before mentally berating herself. Strange thoughts like this entered her mind on a regular basis, distracting her from her tasks and making her feel all funny inside.

"Manu, what's wrong? Why do you look so moody?" Gunjan Didi asked, snapping the Shah out of her thoughts. She was now sitting on the bed, apparently having entered the room while Manu was busy thinking.

"Nothing, Didi," Manu mumbled, pacing up and down the room as she tried to think of anything but the infuriating man downstairs.

"By the way, how come Raj tagged along?"

Immediately stopping in her tracks, Manu tried to hide her silly smile at the memory of Raj offering to accompany her to Gunjan Didi's sasural. There had been nothing special about the long drive but, for some reason, it had felt special to her. The fact that her heart burst with joy at such a trivial thing scared her to no end. To be honest, a lot of things related to Raj scared her.

Gunjan Didi added, "I felt like I was being picked up by my sister and my brother in law rather than my brother and my wedding planner."

Manu blushed, recalling Raj's words about him marrying her. Gunjan Didi and Raj just seemed to be desperate to become jiju-sali. "Didi, that's not funny."

Gunjan Didi grinned before saying, "You're the one who let him drive you to my sasural."

"He's leaving tonight anyway so I just let him," Manu mumbled, feeling a little empty at the thought of life without Raj. "At least he can't annoy me anymore."

"So you won't miss him?"

"Of course not."

* * *

A lie... Out of the irrational fear of admitting a certain fact to herself, Manu had lied to her sister when she'd said she wouldn't miss Raj. It had been just a few days since he went back to Delhi and she missed him already. Although she managed to perform her duties just fine, she would find herself thinking of him if her mind wasn't occupied by something else. Her thoughts weren't so innocent either and nor were her dreams.

"Raj," she whispered, tracing the henna on her arm. It was starting to fade but Raj was still ever present in her mind and heart.

Before she knew it, somebody suddenly tugged at her arm and slapped her. Her hand flew to her burning cheek as she stared up into her mother's eyes. She watched as Mummy locked the bedroom door before storming back over to her, a furious look on her face. Manu was just flabbergasted. She hadn't been slapped in _years_ so what had she done to suddenly deserve one now?

"How long has this affair been going on, Manu?" Mummy demanded, shocking the living daylights out of her. Affair? Her mother seriously thought she was having an affair?

"Mummy, I don't know what you're talking about," she responded calmly, dropping the hand from her face and hiding her arm behind her.

"I went to school as well, Manu. I know exactly whose name is on your arm." Manu swallowed deeply, racking her brain for a way out. However, her mind just went numb. No one, let alone her mother, would believe that Raj's name was on her arm as a token of friendship. Hell, even she didn't believe it so how could she expect someone else to?

"You told me you wouldn't do anything you shouldn't do but you've been sleeping with that boy all along!"

Manu's cheeks blazed, and not because of the slap this time. First Raj had told her he loved her, then he'd joked about marrying her and now there was talk of them sleeping together! The fact her dreams reflected upon these things, even the last one, only served to make her body temperature rise even further. She was sure she looked like a tomato by now. Mummy's next words just took the straw.

"Manu, I'm warning you now: if I find out you're carrying that city boy's sin in your womb then I'll..."

"Mummy, please! He hasn't even touched me!" Manu exclaimed, feeling beyond embarrassed. Her womb? Most of the time, she forgot she even had a womb unless it was that special time of the month. The thought of that very same womb actually occupying anything was unimaginable, let alone _Raj's sin._

"He knows the truth about you, though, doesn't he?" Mummy asked with a smirk. Manu's embarrassment was swiftly replaced by fear for Raj. Her mother wasn't the same woman she used to be. There was no telling what she would do to Raj. "Who else could've applied the henna to you other than your beloved Raj?"

"He did the pattern," Manu admitted, "but I added his name in later. He doesn't feel that way about me, Mummy."

Mummy didn't look convinced at all and continued her probing. "What about all of those times the two of you disappeared together or those secret whispered conversations that you had?"

"You were suspecting us for no reason, Mummy. All we did together was plan Didi's wedding," Manu answered, memories of Raj's flirting plaguing her mind. She shook her head, quickly adding, "And anyway, he's gone back to Delhi."

"Well, if I see the two of you together again, I'll kill him. You're already mad about him, that I can see, but he shouldn't fall in love with you."

After her delivery of chilling words, Mummy stormed out of the room before Manu could even open her mouth. The eighteen-year-old Shah dropped down onto her bed as her legs gave out from underneath her. She was just stunned. What had her mother said?

The death threat had been expected, no surprise there, but Manu was startled by the comment about her being 'mad' for Raj. Mad? No, it was just a tiny crush, an infatuation. Surely, it would fade after a while...? What did Mummy know anyway? She was absolutely clueless to the fact that Raj had already fallen in love ages ago.

Only Manu understood the crux of the matter: Raj was in love with her but it was a one-sided love. For her, it was just adoration for her childhood friend coupled with a little bit of infatuation because he was the first guy to flirt with her. Yes, that was it. Nothing more, nothing less.

So why was her heart telling her something else?


	3. Return

Love. Something that should've made Manu's life more beautiful only made her ten times as miserable. Who were the fools who preached that it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? They knew nothing, absolutely nothing, of the pain that accompanied the knowledge that one could never be with the man she loved. Ten years ago, Manu had yearned for the return of her childhood friend but now she longed for the man she loved.

The past couple of months had been more difficult than she had ever imagined them to be. To save Raj from Mummy's wrath, Manu had no choice but to communicate with him solely by mobile phone. When her heart had skipped a beat at the mere sound of his husky voice, during the very first phone call, she had finally admitted to herself that Raj's love for her was no longer one sided. In any other circumstances, this would have been considered good news but, of course, nothing about their situation was ordinary.

"Manu! Come downstairs!"

Manu snapped out of her dark musings, leaving the balcony and going downstairs. She arrived in the living area to see her family staring at Raj who was in the doorway. Despite his haggard and sullen state, the sight of him brought an instant smile to her face and her heart fluttered, but she stopped herself from running to him and embracing him in front of everyone.

"Parjai, how come you brought Rajveer back here?" Chacha questioned.

"I brought him back because he's going to plan Manu's wedding."

Manu's heart started racing at the news and her mood instantly hit rock bottom. Her wedding? She looked over at Raj and finally understood why he looked so depressed. He had to plan her wedding? That would be pure torture for them both! Why was Mummy hell bent on hurting her own daughter?

"To who?" Chachi asked.

"Remember that family who came here a few days ago? Their daughter."

What family? And girl? Manu had forgotten that she was supposed to be a man. Of course, Mummy wanted her to marry a girl. But how could she? She would be ruining the girl's life by marrying her! She had been busy with her Shah duties a few days ago so she had no idea which family's daughter her mother was talking about. Chacha seemed to, though.

"What?" he yelled, appearing to be affronted. "They're dirt poor! Manu is the Shah of the Pawaniyas. He can get anyone."

'This is why you should be careful what you wish for,' Manu told herself resignedly. After all, she had been foolishly daydreaming about marriage for which she was receiving the cruel punishment of having to marry a bride rather than her preferred groom.


	4. Confrontation

"Raj, why are you here?" Manu asked, looking up in fear as Raj closed the door behind him. She was currently in a guest room, trying to avoid him as she had been doing ever since he returned to her house. "If someone sees you here then..."

"Then nothing. What's so odd about the _wedding planner_ talking to the _groom_?" he questioned, bitter emphasis on the words 'wedding planner' and 'groom'. Was that what their friendship, their love, had now been reduced to? A simple work relationship?

She looked away, twisting the chair that she was sitting on away from him. Avoiding their reflections in the mirror in front of her, she sighed, rapping her knuckles on the dresser table as she asked, "Why did you take up this assignment? Aren't there any more brides or grooms left in Delhi that you came all the way back over here?"

"I came here to be close to you," he said. She ceased rapping and slowly raised her gaze to meet his in the mirror, a flurry of emotion rushing through her when she saw his bloodshot eyes. He looked as broken as she felt which broke her heart even further.

"Even if it means you have to plan my wedding?" _To someone else_, she added mentally. He nodded and she blinked back tears, averting her gaze once more. "Why are you determined to hurt yourself, Raj?"

"Preet, I love you too much to see you in pain," Raj answered, placing a hand on her shoulder. "This marriage is going to ruin three lives. Preet, it's a disaster when two people love each other"—her heart skipped a beat—"and a third is forced in between. Just elope with me. I'll keep you really, really happy."

Alarmed by his words, she shot up in her seat and shrugged his hand off. She wiped at her eyes, angry at herself for wearing her heart on her sleeve.

"I can't, Raj," she whispered, the dreams of a life with the man she loved flashing in her mind's eye. She shook her head. Love? Marriage? Children? It just wasn't possible. "This is my life."

"Your mother has no right to ruin that girl's life!"

"I know but she's bought that girl. The whole family is indebted to Mummy. I'm indebted to her too."

"Protecting you was her duty as your mother, Preet," he said, grabbing her by the shoulders and forcing her to face him. "You don't owe her your happiness."

"Who said I would be happy running away and leaving everything that I've ever known behind, Raj?" she countered stiffly. "I can't do that."

"You'd be happy because you love me and I love you," he replied instantly.

Shyly looking down at her feet, Manu was about to respond with a heavy heart when Raj tipped her chin up and kissed her. She froze, trying to process what was happening but he quickly pulled away. Her face heated up and she felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach, as she tried to look anywhere else but him. Apparently not done with her yet, he snaked his arms around her waist and closed the gap between them.

"Raj, you're making it hard for us both," she said weakly, fighting the urge to put her arms around him. "I—"

He cut her off by capturing her lips in his once again, making her go all weak in the knees. This time, she closed her eyes and lost all sense of reason. Throwing her arms around his neck, she held onto him for dear life as she succumbed to her feelings. She was overwhelmed, practically drowning in her previously suppressed emotions.

The soft click of the door opening registered in her mind a little too late before she broke off the kiss and opened her eyes to see her mother standing in the doorway. Mummy stared back at her in shock, a crazed look in her eyes which caused Manu to gulp and push Raj away. She shared a terrified look with him as Mummy peered outside. They had the worst timing ever.

"I knew it," Mummy muttered as she hastily locked the door. "I just knew it. How dare the two of you carry out your dirty affair right under my nose, in my own house?"

Manu didn't bother to deny the allegations this time, more worried about Raj's life than her reputation. Simi Didi's death had hardened Mummy in such a way that she barely resembled the kind and caring woman Manu remembered from her childhood. She watched on in horror as her mother grabbed a gun from the wall, stepping in front of Raj as it was pointed at him.

"Mummy, please don't hurt him!"

"The only reason I called him here was to see if he's in love with you," her mother said, smirking as she reached for the trigger. "I've got my answer now."

Falling to the floor in shock, Manu quickly scrambled towards Mummy and grabbed her feet in a desperate attempt to save Raj. "Mummy, please let him go! I'll do whatever you want!"

"Preet, no!" Raj yelled, his eyes frantically darting between the rifle and Manu.

"Raj, be quiet!" Manu exclaimed, waving him off before looking up at her mother. "Please!"

"You'll get married?" Mummy asked, not taking her eyes off her target for even a second.

Manu answered without hesitation, "Yes."

"Stand up." The Shah complied with her mother's order but frowned when she saw that the rifle was still pointed at Raj. "You. Go over to your beloved and swear on her life that you two haven't crossed all the limits. You understand what I'm saying, don't you?"

"Mummy..." Manu muttered, wishing that a hole would just appear in the ground and swallow her up to save her from further embarrassment. It was bad enough that time when Mummy had asked her if she was pregnant but now she was directly addressing her concerns right in front of Raj.

She looked straight ahead as Raj placed his hand on her head and said, "I swear on Preet's life that... We've never had physical relations."

"Good," Mummy commented, apparently very happy that her daughter was still a virgin. Manu frowned, slightly insulted that her mother hadn't believed her when she'd told her the same. "Now leave and never come back."

Raj looked like he was about to protest when he looked at Manu who discreetly folded her hands, silently pleading him to comply. He sighed heavily, nodding as he turned to Mummy and said, "Until next time, Mummy Ji."

Stunned by his audacity to refer to her mother as Mummy Ji, Manu prayed for Raj's life as he and Mummy had a staring contest. She choked in relief when he finally left the room, thankful that he didn't turn back to look at her one last time. One look was all that it would have taken to break her resolve and send her running into his arms.

"Luckily, he did all the arrangements for the engagement," Mummy stated casually, looking exceptionally calm. She turned to Manu. "I'll hire another wedding planner to plan your actual wedding and then everything will be fine. Now get ready for your engagement."

"Ji, Mummy," Manu mumbled, watching as her mother left the room. She shook her head in disbelief. How could her mother behave as if nothing had happened?


	5. Order

Still in her engagement get up hours after it was over, Manu sat on her bed, tears streaming down her face as she recalled the day's events. She lightly touched her lips, flushing as she remembered how Raj had kissed her not once but twice. Those were probably the only two kisses she would ever receive in her whole life. Raj was back in Delhi now, where he belonged. Where her heart belonged. After all, it was said that 'home is where the heart is'.

Manu then thought of Gunjan Didi who had attended the engagement and proudly informed the family that she was eight weeks pregnant. She had felt a spike of envy at the news. Gunjan Didi had been happily married for little over two months and was already pregnant with her beloved husband's child. Manu would've wanted a child of her own by the time she was Gunjan Didi's age but it wasn't physically possible when she was marrying a girl.

After hearing the sound of knocking on her bedroom door accompanied by her mother's voice, Manu reluctantly dragged herself off the bed and let her mother in.

"It's good you're awake," Mummy said as she locked the door.

Raising an eyebrow at the action as well as her mother's serious facial expression, Manu went to sit back down on the edge of her bed. Oh, God. What private conversation was she going to have to endure now? Couldn't she just spend some time in peace?

"What do you want, Mummy?" she croaked, her voice hoarse from crying, as said woman sat down next to her.

"I'm glad that you want to get straight to the point," Mummy stated, patting her daughter's leg. "I want you to give me an heir. Your heir."

Manu furrowed her eyebrow, having not expected that. Heir? She had assumed that she was going to remain childless her whole life and that one of Sukkhi Veer Ji's children would be the next Shah.

"My heir? How will I get an heir?"

"Don't act innocent, Manu. We both know what I walked in on this afternoon."

The Shah refrained from rolling her eyes, too annoyed to even feel embarrassed. Whatever happened between her and Raj had taken place between a man and a woman but Mummy seemed to have forgotten how basic biology worked, despite having gone through (at least) three pregnancies herself.

"Your daughter in law and I are both women, Mummy," she stated tersely. "You tell me how she'll be able to give you an heir."

"She won't," Mummy quipped, "you will." Manu stared dumbly, completely lost for words. What was her mother talking about? "You will conceive an heir and give birth to him."

Just when Manu thought life couldn't get any worse, God was showing her that it could. In fact, He was turning her whole world upside down. She gripped the edge of her mattress, letting her mother's words sink in. Conceive. Give birth.

Bile rose in Manu's throat. Her eighteenth birthday had been mere months ago! She wasn't ready for this... she wasn't even married! The prospect of some man touching her absolutely terrified her and the only man she wanted was the one who Mummy had forbidden her from meeting.

"How?" She blushed at her choice of her words and hastily corrected herself, "No, I mean... who?"

"I don't know. I don't care. As long as he doesn't try to take the child away from you."

Those words were the equivalent to permission to make Raj the father of her child. Manu didn't know how to feel about that. She couldn't imagine being intimate with anyone other than Raj but how could she just string him along for a baby? Mummy probably knew that she would have no choice but to go to Raj and that she would have to betray him to carry out this order. She couldn't betray Raj! The very thought of it made her skin crawl.

"No... Mummy, I can't do it. Please find another way..."

"There's no other way, beta," Mummy muttered, sounding as if she was helpless. "I can't let you be childless. The villagers will call you impotent for no good reason. I could make your wife sleep with a Pawaniya"—Manu blanched at this—"but it's too risky. Besides, I want your heir to have my blood in his veins."

"Mummy, any child of mine would belong to its father's clan, not ours! And what will you tell your daughter in law?"

The poor girl would first suffer an unhappy marriage for the rest of her life and then have to raise someone else's child. It was unacceptable. How could she force a girl who would never get to have children of her own raise her 'husband's' love child?

"We'll tell her that you had a little affair and then have her pretend to be pregnant. She won't complain."

"And how am I going to hide my condition? Where will I give birth?" Manu asked incredulously, the words tasting sour.

"I'll sort it all out. You just focus on your task. There's still four months left until your wedding so don't start straight away. Wait until a month before your wedding."

Task. What a cold word. Making a baby required her to get very close to a man and... It definitely wasn't something that she could do without any sort of emotional attachment. She would never even consider doing *it* with a stranger even if her heart didn't long for another man. But then she also couldn't use that same man—her Raj—to get pregnant and then keep his child from him.

Now Manu was sure that she was being punished by God for being jealous of Gunjan Didi. When she got jealous of Gunjan Didi getting to be a bride, Mummy got her engaged. Then when she got jealous of Gunjan Didi being pregnant, mere hours ago, Mummy was now ordering her to get pregnant.

"Just remember. You should have a child in your womb by the early months of your marriage. Or else."

_Or else_. Manu's blood ran cold; Mummy was obviously talking about Raj. Raj, the man she loved. The man she couldn't be with. The man who lived far away, in the city of Delhi. The man she had to deceive and get pregnant by.

Just how was she going to do this? Raj wasn't even in Gaguwal anymore! What excuse would she give him for not wanting to elope but just wanting to...? Raj was insanely attracted to her but even he wouldn't do _that_ with her just like that. Never in her life did think she would be forced to be physical with a man, especially one she wasn't married to. Even in her dreams, she was always married to Raj when they...

She shook her head.

This order of her mother's was going to kill her.


	6. Proposal

Manu paced around the tiny Friend's Corner, practically going out of her mind. Her anxiety levels were at an all-time high and she couldn't settle on a way to make her request to Raj. Saying she wanted a few passionate nights with him sometime in the near future just didn't sound right. She didn't want to taint their relationship which was what would happen if they slept together without at least a love confession from her side... No matter how hard she tried though, she couldn't get that special word out. She didn't know why.

"Raj, I'm so glad you agreed to meet me," she finally said, breaking the ten-minute silence that had ensued ever since Raj walked into the Friend's Corner.

"What's wrong, Preet?" he asked, sounding concerned. "You look worried. You sounded worried over the phone. That's why I came running here from Delhi."

Guilt seized her; he cared so much about her and here she was, trying to find a way to betray him. She had no choice though. Even though he lived in Delhi, she was sure Mummy could still get him killed if she wanted. It was either sleep with Raj and take his child away from him or do nothing and let him die. The third option—conceive a stranger's child—was unthinkable. She had to be selfish by choosing to deceive Raj to save his life.

'Here goes nothing,' Manu thought. She mustered up some courage and blurted out the first thing that came to mind: "I want to get married!"

He scowled, digging his hands into his pockets. She squeezed her eyes closed, regretting her choice of words. "You are getting married," he reminded flatly.

"No, I mean... I want a real marriage," she corrected herself, opening her eyes and forcing herself to maintain eye contact with him. She had no clue where this marriage idea popped up from—other than her dreams—but she went with the flow. "To a man..." she added, nervously wringing her hands as she spoke. "To you..."

This seemed to lighten up Raj's mood as he smiled and walked towards her. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he said, "So run away with me!"

Manu closed her eyes and took a deep breath, reminding herself of her lifelong duty to her mother and her desire to fulfil her late father's last wish. She couldn't do any of that if she just ran away with Raj, no matter how tempting it was. She then opened her eyes, slowly exhaling through her nose as she gently shrugged him off.

"Mummy would hunt us down and find us. Besides, I can't leave her," she answered, swallowing deeply as his face became crestfallen. "I still have to marry the girl."

"So you just want me on the side? Like some kind of mistress?"

Intense guilt hit her at the bitter tone of his voice. She hated constantly hurting him but doing so hurt her just as much. She was truly stuck between Raj's life and his feelings. She briefly considered telling him the truth about her mother's orders but decided not to. He would no doubt continue persuading her to elope with him if he knew the truth and what scared her the most was falling into a moment of weakness and agreeing to him. No, that couldn't happen. It wasn't allowed to happen.

"I want you as my husband, yaara. I want at least something in my life to be real," Manu continued genuinely, relieved that at least these words were true. After all, she had dreamt about marrying him on a daily basis, just not in secret like she was suggesting right now.

Raj seemed to soften up at her gentle tone, inching closer to her but not touching her. She watched him warily, wondering what he was going to say. "I can't see you upset, Soniyo. But are you sure you want this to be a real marriage? For me to behave with you the way a real husband would?"

It took Manu's naive mind a while to understand the meaning behind his words. She blushed and looked down, chewing her lip as she considered what he was asking her. Although things were moving a little too fast for her liking, their relationship would have to get physical if she wanted to fulfil Mummy's order. The prospect of being intimate scared her; she couldn't even look at him properly following a kiss so how would she be able to face him after _that_?

However, this was Raj, the man she trusted above all else. If she could trust him with her secret, why couldn't she trust him with her body? She knew, in her heart of hearts, that he would make sure she was comfortable and relaxed before taking their relationship that far. He would never intentionally hurt her. Yes, she was scared now, but maybe she would feel differently when the time actually came.

Looking up at her love and clearing her mind of negative thoughts, she gave him a nod. He nodded in return, as if to confirm that he would grant her request, and pulled her into a hug. She hid her face in his chest, ignoring the voice that was telling her that she was deceiving him as she just tried to envision what life would be like after they married.


	7. Marriage

Soon after marrying Raj, Manu discovered just how nerve wracking it was to maintain a secret relationship. Since Raj was currently staying with another family in Gaguwal because he was planning a wedding for them, the pair had no choice but to meet up in the Friend's Corner or Manu's room itself. She was very scared that the two of them would end up getting caught one day but it never happened. The possibility that Mummy was purposely turning a blind eye did cross her mind but she was still cautious nonetheless.

Manu was currently brushing her hair while Raj was lounging on the bed, watching her, having snuck into her room to spend time with her for the third time since their private wedding. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror, truly looking like Manpreet; she was dressed like Manu but she had her hair long silky hair out like Preet and was wearing the signs of a typical married woman. Brushing through her hair with one hand, she used the other to touch the mangalsutra which was usually tucked under her collar. Her gaze then fell on the reflection in the corner of the mirror.

"Are you just going to stare at me the whole time?" she asked, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. "I thought you wanted to talk."

"I'm just a husband who's admiring his wife's beauty," he responded as she put her hairbrush down. "Is there something wrong with that?"

She blushed and suppressed a giggle, composing herself before turning around. "I look beautiful to you in this?" she asked amusingly, tugging at her sleepwear a.k.a kurta.

"Well, I guess you'd look more beautiful without it," he quipped unabashedly.

Manu's spine suddenly tingled and she swallowed deeply. She shied away from him, suddenly wishing she was wearing a jacket. "Raj, are you mad? You're so shameless."

"I meant you'd look nicer in something else," he said, the smirk on his face saying otherwise. He hopped off the bed and sauntered over to her. "Why? What did you think? Were you hoping for something else?"

"No," she said quickly, backing away before her back hit the dressing table behind her, knocking a few of her cosmetics over.

As Raj inched closer to her, her heart started racing so she moved all the way back until her back was pressed against the mirror. Her stomach knotted as he looked into her eyes as if to gauge her reaction. She held his gaze, realising that maybe he was asking for consent. That was odd; he usually just went for it. When he didn't lean in any closer, Manu blinked slowly before spotting the mischievous glint in his eyes. She frowned as his intentions became clear. The cheek! He wanted her to make the first move! No... she wasn't going to do it.

Breaking off eye contact, she pushed Raj away and then moved off the tiny dressing table, heading towards her bed. Trying not to laugh at the baffled look on his face, she stopped in front of the wall next to the bed, standing next to a framed photo of Simi Didi. She was never going to admit it out loud but she wanted Raj to touch her. Meeting his lusty gaze through her half-lidded eyes, she leant against the wall in such a way that accentuated her feminine curves, even through the loose kurta she was wearing.

Within seconds, Manu won as Raj lost all of his control and did exactly what his pretty wife wanted. He captured her lips in his, kissing her way more passionately than he ever had before, one hand buried in her hair whereas the other hovered over her waist, radiating heat through the thin barrier that was her nightwear. Forgetting all about her ego, she grabbed the hand that was on her waist and guided it towards the hem of her kurta. He suddenly broke off the kiss, breathing heavily as he rested his forehead against hers. She couldn't help but feel disappointed, wondering why he wasn't going any further.

"Preet, I don't have anything on me," he said weakly as if he was fighting an internal battle. "We could still do it but it's risky."

Unable to understand what he was talking about, Manu snapped her eyes open and blinked rather dumbly. "What's risky? What don't you have on you?"

"O soniyo, you're so naive but sexy at the same time," he muttered, moving his head back and tapping her on the nose. "I don't have a certain something that will protect you from getting a little Raj."

A little Raj? What was he talking about? Risk of getting a little Raj? Huh? Her eyes widened as it finally dawned on her and she felt a little foolish. Of course. Raj had no idea about Mummy's order. Speaking of Mummy's order, the wedding was still three months away so it was indeed very risky. "If I knew you were so eager, I would've prepared."

"Eager?" she repeated, still pressed up against the wall. The 'moment' had passed and now she felt shy again. "Who said I'm eager?" She stepped to the side but he blocked her way by caging her against the wall.

"You're the one who was making my hand go here," he quipped as he removed a hand from the wall to tug at the hem of her kurta. Manu shuddered at the touch, dirty thoughts entering her treacherous mind. Oh, how she wished that Raj's hands would just slip under—

"Nonsense!" she snapped, more at herself than at him, finally slipping away from the wall. She sat down on her bed, trying to calm her racing heart as her husband sat down next to her.

He put an arm around her, his nose nuzzling her ear when he said, "We'll be able to do whatever you want next time."

_Whatever_ she wanted? She couldn't help but smile at the thought, recalling all of the saucy dreams she'd had of her and Raj... Manu blushed, aware that he was staring at her and probably knew exactly what was going through her mind.

"So, how was work today?" she asked in an attempt to distract herself from thinking about _that_. As he took the hint and started talking about the wedding he was planning, she listened silently, more interested in the sound of his voice than what he was actually saying.

That night, Manu fell asleep in Raj's arms, feeling more content than she had ever felt in her whole life.


	8. Jealousy

Manu hummed to herself as she approached the Randhawa residence, excited to surprise Raj at work. Having finished the pressing concerns of the surprisingly few Pawaniya clansmen, she excused herself from her duties and took a 'day off'. Since she hadn't seen her husband in a few days, she had decided to dress up as Preet and help him plan the eldest Miss Randhawa's wedding.

Upon rounding the corner, Manu smiled when she saw Raj talking to someone and practically sprinting towards him. She slowed down as she drew closer, intending to sneak up on him and cover his eyes when a shrill voice caught her attention.

"Oh, Raj, you're so smart!" the person Raj was talking to, some girl around Manu's age, exclaimed. Manu's smile instantly faded and she stopped in her tracks, becoming uncomfortable when the girl gripped Raj's arm. "You'll plan my wedding too, won't you?"

"Of course," Raj responded in his usual jolly voice, apparently oblivious to the girl's obvious attraction to him.

"By the way, if you're looking for a girl, I can find you one," the girl said, unnecessarily fluttering her eyelids.

Irritation crept up on Manu at the bimbo's offer. No one needed to find Raj a 'girl' because he already had a wife! He had her! When he didn't turn the offer down but instead changed the subject, she saw red. That was it; the both of them needed to be taught a lesson.

She placed her hands on her hips and donned an angry expression before clearing her throat. Raj instantly turned around, his eyes practically lighting up when he saw Manu, whereas the girl appeared to be surprised.

"Who are you?" she asked, her voice painfully chipper. Manu felt like wiping the annoying grin off the girl's face.

"I'm Rajveer's wife," she answered, emphasising the 'veer'. Only Raj's friends could call him Raj, as her family did, but how could this bimbo even think of it? Unless he had asked her to...

Her eyes flit towards the man in question, fixing him with a cold glare, daring him to defend himself. His smile faded and he was apparently confused by her anger.

"Preet, what are you doing here?"

"I came to tell you something important," she started, looking straight at the girl as she added, "I wouldn't want to say it in front of strangers though."

To her dismay, her husband of one month suddenly smirked. She tried not to show her surprise, keeping up her angry facade as she wondered what he was up to. He had the audacity to smirk when she was clearly annoyed with him? What was he doing?

"This isn't a stranger, Preet," he said before smiling at the girl. "She's the bride's sister, Bhavika."

Expecting a smug look from 'Bhavika', Manu glanced towards her to see that she was just smiling as if nothing had happened. That really grated on her nerves.

"Fine. Bhavika, Raj here is going to become a father soon."

Her ploy worked. Manu felt a hint of satisfaction as Raj's mouth fell wide open in shock whereas Bhavika's smile quickly morphed into a frown. She knew that Bhavika had just been acting like she was an innocent girl. Judging from the look on her face, the no good bimbo had been planning to sink her claws into HER Raj.

"Arrey, Raj, why do you look so shocked?" she questioned, feigning shyness as she pinched his cheek. "This was bound to happen. You never let me sleep."

At this, Bhavika started coughing but Raj kept his eyes on his sly wife. Manu smirked, throwing a smug look at Bhavika who huffed and walked off. Looking back at a still stunned Raj, she gave him a stern look before turning away and walking off.

"Arrey, Preet, wait for me!"

* * *

"I just knew you would be here," Raj stated jovially, winking at Manu who narrowed her eyes at him. She crossed her arms, leaning back against the wooden wall of the Friend's Corner as her man stared at her.

"Why are you here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him as he walked up to her. "Don't you have other more interesting friends to spend your time with?"

"Was my soniyo jealous?" he teased, tipping her chin up which forced her to look him in the eyes. The smug fool had that mischievous glint in his eyes again and was obviously enjoying her discontent.

"No, I was just trying to embarrass you in front of that weasel," she replied scathingly. Turning away from him, she stared straight ahead as she asked, "I'm guessing it worked?"

"Bhavika"—she rolled her eyes at the correction—"didn't look at me for the rest of the day," he admitted nonchalantly. She smirked in triumph and chuckled. "Will you at least tell me why you wanted to embarrass me?" he implored. Manu's eyes widened and she tried to think up a response as Raj's warm breath tickled her ear. "We were on very good terms the last time we met," he said, his voice extremely low.

Shivers ran down her spine as her heart started beating faster. _Damn Raj_. His solution to every problem was to seduce her. _Good terms_. She blushed as she recalled exactly what kind of terms they'd been on.

"Be quiet, Raj," she muttered, unable to think up a witty response.

"By the way, what was it that you told Bhavika? I'm going to be a father?"

"You wish!"

"I wish?" he asked, snaking an arm around her waist from behind. She gasped as he pulled her up against his chest and whispered, "or you wish?" into her ear.

Despite having been intimate a few times already, she still felt really shy when he behaved like this. The last time they had been this close, Mummy had knocked on the door and interrupted them, forcing Raj to escape before she could see him. The whole ordeal had left Manu very frustrated. Just thinking of the incident made Mummy's order niggle in the back of her mind. She felt uneasy; she didn't want to think about what she would eventually have to do to save Raj.

Realising that Raj had swept her hair to one side, Manu snapped out of her thoughts, opening her mouth to say something when she was interrupted by a pair of lips on the junction between her neck and her shoulder. "Raj, we can't," she moaned reluctantly, feeling perverted for letting him seduce her in their childhood hangout. "We're in the Friend's Corner. What if someone sees us?"

"Let them see," he answered off-handedly, running his free hand down her arm. "But if you want, we can wait until I visit you in your room tonight."

"NO!" she immediately protested, grateful that he couldn't see the blush spreading across her cheeks. "I mean... that's hours away..." _and I can't wait that long_, she mentally added.

"Tell me the truth," he began, putting his free arm around her and pulling her into a hug. "You were jealous, weren't you?"

Shyness slipped away to give way to irritation as Manu shrugged out of Raj's embrace and turned around to face him. The knowing look on his face irked her to no end. "No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you were."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Yes."

"NO!"

Amused by the stunned look on his face, Manu smiled victoriously at Raj's slip up. He recovered quickly, giving her his usual cocky grin-smirk before saying, "I'll show you exactly why you never need to be jealous again."

About to vehemently deny his claims, she found herself closing her mouth when he reached up and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. Despite the fact that she was annoyed with him, his touch still caused an explosion of butterflies in the pit of her stomach. She leant into his touch and held his intense gaze, knowing what was coming next.

'I'll leave the fights for later,' she promised herself, placing her arms around his neck as he reached for the dori of her suit...


	9. Karwa Chauth

As she stared blankly at the property file in front of her, Manu tried to keep her eyes wide open despite the stinging sensation. She didn't dare avert her gaze, fearing that her eyes would accidentally fall on the person across the table who was watching her like a hawk.

"Tai Ji!" Babli called, making her involuntarily look straight ahead at Mummy who now had her eyes on the unruly ten-year-old standing next to her. Manu took the opportunity to blink rapidly, restoring the moisture in her eyes. "Manu Veer Ji, are you going to the party?"

Slightly surprised by the question, she turned to her left to see that her cousin was now standing next to her, regarding her with inquisition.

"No, chutki, I'm not."

Babli opened her mouth to say something but Mummy beat her to it. "Why not, Manu? You should go."

"What will I do there?" Manu questioned rather quickly before calming herself down. Once again, she pretended to be interested in her work and offhandedly added, "Besides, it's for married people."

"Well, you'll be married soon," Mummy cut in authoritatively. "You might as well learn."

Manu frowned, wondering why her mother was so eager for her to attend the Pahujas' Karwa Chauth gathering. She had tried her level best to hide the fact that she was fasting but her refusal to eat lunch had raised a few eyebrows at the dinner table. Maybe, as a result, Mummy suspected her. If she suspected her of keeping the fast then that meant she also suspected that she was married.

"What is there to learn?" Manu asked distractedly. "I've seen Chacha break Chachi's fast every year."

"Parjai, we'll be going now!" Chachi called as she and Chacha walked down the stairs. "Are you coming?"

"No, you two go. What will a widow like me do there?" Mummy asked, throwing Manu a brief glance before looking back at Chachi. "You go."

As Chachi mumbled a quiet yes and left the house, Manu sighed. She was one hundred percent sure that Mummy had decided to stay at home to keep an eye on her rather than because she was a widow. How was she going to sneak Raj into the house now?

Just then, her phone beeped. Making sure that Babli wasn't standing over her shoulder, she grabbed her mobile from her pocket and opened the message up.

_I'm on my way_

She panicked, gulping as she literally felt Mummy staring at her before replying: _Mummy's keeping a really close eye on me today. I don't think you'll be able to sneak in tonight._

_Arrey, Soniyo, it'll be okay. It's not the first time I'm sneaking into your room ;)_

She smiled at the winky face but responded with: _I'm serious. I can't break my fast without the moon but I'm sure she'll see us on the balcony together._

_Okay, change of plans. I'll pick you up outside your house and I'll break your fast at the Randhawas'._

Manu frowned at the thought of having to see Raj's admirer, Bhavika, again. She remembered the time when she made her believe that she was pregnant with Raj's child. How was she going to justify the fact that she was fasting in such a state without revealing her lie? What if Bhavika got her hopes up and went after Raj again?

_Don't get jealous. Bhavika knows you're my wife and the mother of my unborn child :)_

A blush spread across her cheeks at the words. How did he know that she was thinking about Bhavika? It was so embarrassing. She felt even more uncomfortable when she realised that Mummy was probably looking right at her.

_Raj Babu, if you want to get lucky tonight then don't make those jokes with me... I'll see you soon._


	10. Despair

For what seemed like the millionth time that morning, Manu wiped at her eyes as an endless stream of tears rolled down each of her cheeks. The worst event of her life—her wedding to a girl—was going to take place in just a few hours and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

On top of the bleak hopelessness that she was drowning in, she was feeling a little under the weather as well. Over the past few days, she had been getting stomach cramps instead of her period. She didn't doubt for a second that the stress of her upcoming nuptials was responsible for making her ill and messing up her usually regular cycle. The fact that no one was around to comfort and console her during such a difficult time also didn't help.

Clinging on to her bedsheets, she buried herself in them and basked in the painfully familiar scent of _him_, crying even harder when she remembered what had taken place in her bed mere days ago. Their hearts had broken that night when they realised that they wouldn't be able to meet up as often as they had done in the past; she was getting married and he was returning to Delhi on his mother's insistence. To make up for all of the time that they would miss out on, they had made love all throughout the night, forgetting all about the dangers of not using protection every single time despite their 'accident' two weeks prior.

'Whatever happens, happens,' she had told him rather desperately. Looking back, she didn't regret it at all; these tender memories were what kept her going. "Manu?"

Recognising her mother's voice, Manu didn't bother rolling over and looking at her. All she wanted to do was stay in bed, recalling sweet memories of Raj until he returned to her and held her in his arms once more.

"You didn't even lock the door. Anyone could've walked in and seen you like this."

She sniffed, assuming that 'like this' meant without a padgi. "I'm sure you would've come up with an excuse for me," she croaked hoarsely, forcing herself to stop crying. "You can lie about anything."

"I came to tell you that Gunjan's not coming to the wedding."

Manu shot up in her bed, dismayed by the news. At a time when she required the comfort of those closest to her heart, they weren't here. Raj was in Delhi, Simi Didi was dead and now Gunjan Didi—the only sister she had left—wasn't going to be by her side.

"Why?"

"She's been having trouble sleeping so she's really tired. It happens when a woman's three months away from having a baby."

Understanding the situation and feeling sympathetic towards her sister, Manu nodded. "I'll visit her in a few days, I guess."

Reaching out for her phone and checking the time, she sighed and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She hung her head in her hands, realising that the wedding was two hours away and she had to get ready now if she wanted to get her baraat to the venue on time. Begrudgingly forcing herself to her feet, she swayed a little as the air she was breathing in suddenly became thick. Spotting Mummy inching towards her out of the corner of her eye, she held out a hand and waved her off. Within a few seconds of taking a deep breath, the uneasy feeling that had been rising in her chest subsided, allowing her to walk past Mummy and get to her wardrobe.

Taking her wedding attire out and throwing it onto the bed, she was about to make her way to the bathroom when she noticed her mother staring at her. No, not staring per say, but observing. What was stranger was that there was a glint of... happiness... in her eyes instead of the usual malice, and her lips were curved up so that she was almost smiling. Manu frowned, feeling a little uneasy. The way Mummy was looking at her scared her; it was as if she knew some big secret about her that she herself didn't know.

"What's wrong?" she asked quietly, grabbing a dry towel from inside her wardrobe.

"Nothing," Mummy answered casually, turning around to leave the room, but not before Manu caught the smile on her face.

The Shah of the Pawaniyas shook her head as she walked towards the bathroom. Here she was, suffering through one of the worst moments of her life while the woman outside who was responsible for the disaster—her own mother—was smiling as if she wasn't just about to destroy her own daughter's life.


	11. Discovery

The world spun around Manu as she trudged into Gunjan Didi's room and sat down next to her on the edge of her bed. She wiped the sweat from her forehead, wishing she could just grab her pagdi and throw it off. Alas, she couldn't because Aman Jiju was also in the house.

"Oh I feel so sick, Didi," she moaned, making a face at the bitter taste of vomit on her tongue. Her six month pregnant sister gave her a pitiful look.

"Since when?" Gunjan Didi asked, rubbing Manu's back.

"Well, I was really drunk on the wedding night but hangover doesn't last for two weeks!" she complained as an uncomfortable feeling crushed her chest.

Gunjan Didi made a 'hmm' noise and nodded, a speculative expression on her face as she stroked her chin. After a short and awkward pause, her eyes widened slightly as her gaze suddenly flit to Manu.

"Manu, how's Raj these days?"

The girl in question froze and stopped her wheezing, avoiding looking her sister's way as she whined, "Didi! I'm sick and you want to talk about Raj?"

Placing a hand on Manu's shoulder, Gunjan Didi used her free hand to gently turn her little sister's face towards her.

"Have you two been spending time together? Just the two of you?"

The Shah of the Pawaniyas felt her face grow hot and stubbornly shrugged her sister's hand off, looking away in a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance.

"Why—why do you need to know that?"

"Oh, no reason." Pause. Manu frowned in confusion, feeling uncomfortable because she could literally feel her sister's gaze burning into her.

"What is it, Didi?" she asked, too sick to mask the irritation in her voice.

"You're not pregnant, are you?"

A cold sweat washed over Manu as she felt like someone had just punched her in the guts. She gulped, barely having the time to give her sister a terrified glance before her twisted insides sent her running to the bathroom once more.

After pulling herself together, she dragged herself back into her sister's room and slumped down onto the bed in an undignified heap. Despite her frame, Gunjan Didi shifted and pulled Manu towards her so that her (Manu's) head was against her baby bump.

"I should've known that there was a reason behind your sudden happiness the last time I saw you," she commented rather somberly. "So it's true then?"

Manu released a shaky breath as she scrambled to collect her thoughts. Her period had been due just before the wedding but she had assumed that it was delayed by the stress of being forced to marry. After her wedding, she had just forgotten about it. That meant she was two weeks late now. She was _never_ late.

"O—of course not! That's—it's not possible," she stammered, hesitantly touching her stomach. Her eyes brimmed with tears at the possibility of Raj's baby being in there.

Tears of relief because it would mean that Mummy's order was fulfilled and Raj's life was saved but tears of sorrow because it would mean that she would have to end things with Raj to hide the truth from him.

"Don't cry," Gunjan Didi cooed. "It'll be okay..."

She didn't sound very convincing which made her younger sister feel all the more worse. Manu looked down at her stomach, unsure of when the conception had even happened. The incident where the condom split two to three weeks before the wedding or the sleepless night a few days before the wedding? If it was the first, it was an accident, and if it was the second, it was a foolish mistake. Would Raj hate her for convincing him to forgo protection that night?

"How is it going to be okay, Didi?" she cried. "He's going to be so angry at me. He's going to hate me!"

"Why would he hate you? You did this together, didn't you?" Gunjan Didi questioned in a serious voice. "Are you even sure that you're pregnant?"

"One hundred percent," Manu answered instantly. She had no doubt that she was carrying a baby—Raj's baby.

"You two need to run away then. Mummy won't be able to tolerate this."

Manu blinked, remembering Mummy's order. Over the past few months, she had just forgotten all about it. Even that night, when she and Raj had taken the risk, the order hadn't crossed her mind even once. How could she forget that almost every decision in her life was made by someone else? How could she forget that her life was never hers in the first place?

"Nothing will happen to me. Mummy wanted this to happen. She said she'd take care of all of it but I have to keep him away!"

"What? Mummy wanted you to get pregnant but keep it from...? Preet, he is your baby's father! You can't hide it from him!"

Manu wiped her tears away. Gunjan Didi was right. Raj was her husband and the father of her unborn baby. He had the right to know about his own child and he would certainly know something was up if she tried to dump him out of the blue. She didn't even want to break up with him in the first place but what choice did she have?

No... no matter what happened to their relationship, she would have to tell him the truth. This baby wasn't just hers, or just his, but it was theirs. She had to take the risk and tell him, even if he ended up hating her.


End file.
